1) The group would carry mostly ridiculous makeshift weapons they created by duct taping frying pans to brooms, rubber ducks to chainsaws, etc, etc
2) The movie would come to a grinding halt during the scene where they're sneaking around in the dark but then they have to stop and wait around for the batteries in their flashlights to charge.
3) There would be at least one member of the group who would carry around a huge gun but never use it, just in case it turns out that he needs it MORE later on.
4) One of the big, gripping suspense scenes in the movie would be the part where they're trying to escape a hoard of the undead but are left fighting for time when they all get stuck trying to go through a single doorway at once.
2) The movie would come to a grinding halt during the scene where they're sneaking around in the dark but then they have to stop and wait around for the batteries in their flashlights to charge.
3) There would be at least one member of the group who would carry around a huge gun but never use it, just in case it turns out that he needs it MORE later on.
4) One of the big, gripping suspense scenes in the movie would be the part where they're trying to escape a hoard of the undead but are left fighting for time when they all get stuck trying to go through a single doorway at once.
5) Ladders. Keep them out of this movie or the shareholders will be very disappointed come opening weekend.
6) Every human character who isn't evil and whose face isn't on the posters is an idiot.
7) Get 'em in the head. You gotta get 'em in the head. Or anywhere besides the head really, meh.
8) Amidst the chaos, the tragedy, the abject horror: our heroes wear ladies clothing. Provided they are men.
9) Ladies wear bikinis or have at least some cleavage, regardless of their level of heroism.
10) There are also no fat women regardless of the fact that there are plenty of fat zombies. Fat zombiehood is a fate entirely reserved for males for some reason.
11) There aren't any kid zombies or even living kids either. This could be written off as the plague simply being instantly deadly to all minors, but we know this isn't true because none of our heroes wear children's clothing. And you know they would if that were an option.
6) Every human character who isn't evil and whose face isn't on the posters is an idiot.
7) Get 'em in the head. You gotta get 'em in the head. Or anywhere besides the head really, meh.
8) Amidst the chaos, the tragedy, the abject horror: our heroes wear ladies clothing. Provided they are men.
9) Ladies wear bikinis or have at least some cleavage, regardless of their level of heroism.
10) There are also no fat women regardless of the fact that there are plenty of fat zombies. Fat zombiehood is a fate entirely reserved for males for some reason.
11) There aren't any kid zombies or even living kids either. This could be written off as the plague simply being instantly deadly to all minors, but we know this isn't true because none of our heroes wear children's clothing. And you know they would if that were an option.
RSS Feed